Busy week with work and all

I try to post every week. I don't know how people post every day. I guess I don't have that interesting of a life. I pretty much work, come home clean call anyone I need to catch up with and do other things that need to be done around our house but for the most part work. I try to explain to Tim that I tell my work yes all the time to stay after and to do extra time because when the time comes for us that we have a baby I will not be picking up on extra hours at work and not only that but I want them to approve my work schedule I would like to change. Right now my regular hours at work are Tuesday thru Friday 10 hour work days. That is what I am scheduled I go to work at 5:45 am to start and am suppose to leave at about 4 pm. Well those hours don't happen at all. This last week I was putting in 11 to 13 hours a day and I had to work from home on Monday. It has been crazily busy. I am a medical biller for St John Hospital and Medical centers. We have like 50 people in our department. Our company has about 60 or more offices and the office's have 1 to 11 doctors in that one office that we bill for. So yeah we are out numbered. Not only that but every month we tend to miss people from medical leaves any where from 6 weeks to 3 months which can back log us and we have had a lot of pregnant women at work (which of course I am happy for them but envious at the same time) that go on maternity or bed rest from the pregnancy so then it us to people to pick up the slack. Well you can guess why I am chosen. I have no kids to drop of or pick up from school and no babysitter so of course Susan is the obvious choice. In our department of about 50 of us there is 4 maybe 5 of us that do not have children. I say maybe 5 because we just got a new person working for us. Well any way those other other 3 people rarely ever pick up the over time that is offered and I know my boss likes me and counts on me all the time to get work caught up and keep us as current as possible but we keep on added private offices and there is not enough of us to cover so we are quiet over whelmed. They refuse to hire more staff at this time because they say of budget. The new person that was just hired was replacing a co worker we lost. My point is when I have a baby I already talked to my boss about a schedule changed when the baby comes to let them know now to get use to the idea. I want to stay home but that is not possible for me as I would carry the insurance for the whole family. My husband has his own small business as an excavator (I say he plays in the dirt). I work for St. John's so I have insurance and it is not cost for me but it is a cost to add my husband and a child to the policy so I have to work. But if I have to work I want to be with my baby as much as I can so not to miss a moment of there first smile, first tooth, first word, first step and all the great milestones, I want to be there for all of it. I worked this hard to have a baby I don't want to miss anything if I can help it and if I am at work I talked to Tim's mom about helping me watch the baby and what schedule would be best for her. My mom lives in Florida so I pretty much only have Tim's mom to depend on and I know a lot of people are for day care centers but I first off don't want my infant in a day care center and if I had to put them in one I would like them to first be able to express by talking what they need or want so I can see how the day care is going for them. If I can help it I would like family like grandma to help but not all the time because I don't want them to feel that they always go to grandma's house, I want them to still be excited to see grandma every time they see her. So I talked to Tim's mom and she said she can watch the baby on Tuesday's and Wednesday's. I then in turn talked to my boss about working out a schedule that I would do 3 day 12 hour shifts on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday but on Thursday if I can work from home and then on Friday if I came in for 4 hours from 6-10 and Tim will watch the baby and when I came home from work at 10:30 he could then leave for work. My boss said she would talk it over with her boss and that we would work something out. It sounds promising and I think if I do all the extra hours now and show how viable I am that they should grant me those hours. Well see but the pay for time and a half for the extra hours I can't complain about either because adoption is expensive and I need every penny I can get right now. We did the in-vetro last year then went right into adoption so we need all of our pennies not just for the adoption but also after the baby gets here.I know we will probably have a baby shower after the baby gets here but diapers and formula are expensive. Today I feel like instead of being in the moment right now of work and no baby I would try to be positive by thinking of the future. It makes me smile to think about this baby. When we will have the baby and will it be a girl or a boy doesn't matter but just wondering what they will look like and what there personality would be like is all so exciting to think about. I always think about what that day will be like the moment I see the baby for the first time and to hold him/her for the first time. That is just so exciting. It at least gives me something to look forward to. To keep me going on those bad days or busy days of long hours at work I try to keep reminding my self it will be all worth it on that day. That is pretty much the only thing keeping me going and not from falling apart emotionally. I guess it is called keeping the faith that god would know I would make an excellent mother and he would not want Tim or I to be childless. I know I am very motherly and can't wait for the first day of school but I know my child will be frustrated with all the pictures I would take of there first day. I can't wait to participate for the bake sales and the Halloween and Christmas parties and even to go on there field trips as a chaperon. I also can't wait to go to there class residuals and any sports they plan to join even the day there graduate will all be so exciting. These are all things I can't wait and look forward to. Tim is a man to look up to. I know our baby will look up to him. He will guide them and show them things. He will help them to be raised with respect, integrate, and honest. I know he will make an excellent father. I know he would probably want to coach the team whether we have a son in baseball or a daughter in soccer he would be right there coaching and mentoring as I would be cheering on the side lines. I also can't wait to when they are young enough but old enough to go to Disney land and see Mickey and Minnie for the first time. These are all fun and exciting things that I can't wait to share with our kids. Of course we have to get there first. But these are all the things that I think about that keeps driving me. Thank you all for listening to my thought.